elfhame | PSL: Karl

It had been an awkward meeting, to say the least. First there had been the angry woman yelling at him and the Chantry sisters both, then the judging looks on the Chantry sisters' faces, but even worse was the look the small boy gave him, lost and alone, and Anders couldn't just stand there. His worry, though, is what Nate will think or say. They're Grey Wardens. It's not going to be easy to raise a child.

He gives Nate a wan smile when they get close, shifting the toddler to his other hip. "Nate, this is... His mom refused to say his name when she left him behind, actually. And he's too small to know it. I thought... I thought we might call him Karl." There are a thousand reasons why they can't take a child in, but Anders doesn't think he can leave the boy either.

Nathaniel isn't sure whether to stare at Anders or the boy. He tries both. Has to make sure he's seeing right, after all. A crease appears between his brows, a frown on his face.

"Am I...right in seeing a child in your arms, not a kitten?"

He nods.

"You are," he says with a sigh. "His mother... He's mage-fathered, she's rather certain she saw him shoot sparks of lightning, and she was yelling at the Chantry sisters about how they were supposed to deal with..."

Anders glances down at the child and works to choose better words. "How they were supposed to take mage children so ass--tringent women like her didn't find themselves at a loss. I was walking past right then, and one of the sisters chose to name who I was, so he was pushed into my arms by his mother as she yelled about how I was at fault. Which, in a way, I am. But I'm glad of it."

This boy won't have to know Circles, or Templar fists, not if Anders has anything to do or say about it. "The Chantry sisters didn't want," him, "to have their resources taxed further. And he was already in my arms..."

"And you think we're equipped to take him?" Nathaniel realizes he seldom tells Anders no. Maybe he should have done so more often, so he could have prepared Anders for this. The boy's plight...he can't think too carefully on it. A little boy nobody wants, whose mother is personally offended by his existence? He won't be able to say no if he thinks too long on that.

He shakes his head. "We can't do this, Anders. You know we can't do this."

"I..." The thing is, he does know. A part of him had been hoping Nate wouldn't think so, though, because what other options are there for the boy? The little one's grip on him tightens, and Anders wonders how much he's understanding.

"Then what do we do? What does he do? The sisters won't take him in. I don't... I don't know any mages who can take him in and teach him. I can't..." He can't abandon the boy. He already cares too much for that.

He sees the boy's grip tighten, and he can't stop wondering how many times the kid has changed hands just today. Delilah already has her hands full and can't take in a toddler. She's the only person Nathaniel can think of who might have had room. Now...

"There's no point discussing it tonight. I'm at as much of a loss as you are." Maybe. Possibly, once it all catches up to him. But Anders looks for all the world like a pregnant mother asking what Nathaniel, as the father, can do. Which makes Nathaniel feel rather like a jackass. He sighs and approaches.

"A child isn't a complication," he says quietly. "A child is an entire world. Just like your life encompasses the world, so does his. With a child in your life, you have two entire worlds. It's as frightening and rewarding as it sounds. And...there are a great many parents in situations no less complex than ours who seem to make it work. It's something to discuss.

"For now, let's wash him up and put him to bed. Have you been carrying him all this way? You must be exhausted."

He moves to take the little boy from Anders.

Edited 2016-04-03 01:38 (UTC)

He wants to say that he knows a child isn't easy, but... it's only a concept. Kalli hadn't come to him young, she'd been full-grown. As had the others. The little boy needs more than any of them ever had.

Anders hands him over with a murmur of it being okay so that his robes are released. "I didn't really feel it. He's..." Anders shrugs. The boy had needed him. He might be better about that than he once was, but everything about a parent's rejection and being alone had spoken to him and Anders hadn't spared much thought once the little boy was given to him.

The child looks frightened, and Anders leans over to press a kiss to his head. Karl's head. Whether they're able to keep him or not, at least he can have a name, and a good name at that. "I'll stay with you, but there's no reason to be afraid. Nate's big and tough and caring."

Nathaniel is both reassured and flattered by the description, and bounces the boy a little in his arms. It's been a while since his nephew was this small, but he remembers how it goes.

"I'm here to chase off anything frightening," he agrees. "Anders will draw you a nice bath and we'll get you something fresh and clean to wear. And I daresay we have some raspberry preserves to go on your bread and butter once your bath is done."

He starts carrying the boy inside.

He gives them a small, tentative smile when Nate bounces Karl. It would likely be a poor choice to get too invested, but at the same time, Anders can't help but have a little hope when the boy relaxes a little and is clearly listening.

"Right. One bath, coming right up." Clothes... might be a little hard, but they have belts and while none of their pants will fit the child, maybe one of Anders' robes would do for a time. Despite how Karl will look like he's drowning in it. They're really not prepared. But he has fabric, thread, and needle, and while the boy sleeps he can at least make some progress.

The water gets drawn quickly enough. Anders isn't ever going to be on the burly side, but hauling water isn't too hard, and heating it, for a mage, is beyond simple. Once it's set, several minutes later, Anders pokes his head out from the back room.

"The water's ready."

Naturally, there is raspberry jam everywhere.

Probably about a third of it got into Karl's mouth. The rest is spread all over his hands and face. Quite a bit of the bread is gnawed off, and Nathaniel wastes no time scarfing down the rest of it when Karl is finished with it.

"Good," he says around a mouthful of bread. "Because we are very sticky."

He hoists Karl up in his arms and carries him to the bath. "I'm pretty sure I picked a flea off him. We'll want to soap him well."

His eyes light up at the sight. They're woefully underprepared, they could be called to duty, they could wind up Called, period, but Nate holding Karl, and a Karl who doesn't look quite so afraid anymore, reaches a part of Anders that's full of yearning and hope despite everything.

"You're both quite the vision." He gives Karl a small smile before nodding at Nate. "I expected you to be sticky. I didn't expect him to start wearing it too. At least we've plenty of soap. Come on. And no touching me. I can hardly judge him if I wind up wearing it too."

Nate gets a brighter smile before Anders lifts Karl out of his arms and helps the boy undress and hop in. The clothing gets considered once it's on the ground, though. Fleas are a pain, but the clothes still look sturdy enough. It would be a waste to not clean them thoroughly as well.

"Would you mind bathing him, and getting the jam off yourself, while I tend to these?" This look says he'd much prefer to lick it off Nate... but he isn't going to do that in front of company.

Nathaniel chuckles as he starts wiping raspberry from Karl's face. "He's in good hands. I forgot how much I miss having small children around."

What if it could just be the three of them, him and Anders raising a child together? What if there was no taint, just as Jonas had wanted and searched for, and they could be a real family? This could be every day, if one thing was different. But they've been Wardens too long. Karl will lose them well before he is grown enough to be on his own.

Still, watching the lad smile and laugh while splashing water at Nathaniel almost makes him forget that.

He's not ready to give up on a cure for the taint. There are people looking for it, and they haven't been exposed to Darkspawn in a while. He's given up hope so many times before and been wrong, and Anders refuses to lose Nate a second earlier than he absolutely must. Why couldn't they try for this life? Nate misses having a small child around, Anders wants this more than he'd ever realized, there's laughter coming from the room Anders has left behind so he can boil the clothes clean...

What if something else could go right? Granted, he's alive and he's loved and loves in return. Those are already impossibilities. Is it too greedy to want one more? It's a thought that he turns over and over in his head as he takes the time to make sure anything pests are completely eradicated. If it goes wrong, though... If it goes wrong, that's another hurt in Karl's life beyond his mother wanting to be rid of him, and the sisters not wanting to deal with a mage. And who knows what happened to his father?

When he returns, he leans against the doorway to watch, holding the heated-dry clothing close. It's so small, like the boy, and the world is so large and cruel.

"I've never really had one around. There was Lucci, but I'm not sure how much he counts. Sitting can't be comparable to having one underfoot." But he has a little experience. Some. Better than none, at least, and Nate has some...

The novelty of the bath wears off quickly, and soon Karl is whimpering and rubbing his eyes. Nathaniel pulls him out of the little tub and begins to dry him off.

"Everybody improvises at first. We'll definitely need as many nappies as we can possibly gather. Everything from towels to old wash-rags. At the moment, his old one will do. Where should we put him to sleep?"

"Mm." They... don't have a lot of choices, actually. The bedroom or the parlor, really, and while they technically could put Karl on the couch, the boy should at least get a bed for one night. He can't be very used to it.

"We can give him our bed, love. The couch is comfortable enough." And it won't be the first time they've made use of it. Anders reaches over and gently tousles the boy's damp hair, trying to help with comforting him. "We can talk about future logistics tomorrow."

Whether they kept him or sent him elsewhere, that would need to be determined. And if it was somehow the former, they could figure it out. Anders doesn't know what's right to do here, only what his heart wants, and it wants Karl to stay with them.

"That's a big bed for a little boy. Come on. Let's get him dressed." Nathaniel finishes rubbing the boy dry and hangs the towel up.

"We can't very well share it with him if I'm to keep you... company." There's an implied question that he's not quite asking - would you like to get laid tonight, or be in the bed?

...oh. OH. Well, in that case...

"The parlor floor it is," Nathaniel says, perking up. "Once we have this handsome fellow put to bed, my company is all yours."

The boy is far too young to wear trousers, so the only tricky bits are getting his arms in his sleeves. Nathaniel remembers how to put a clout on, and does so quite tidily. Karl is rubbing his eyes, but seems to recognize the signs that he's about to be put to bed, so further crying is postponed until he is informed otherwise.

"Ready."

His smile grows at Nate's response. How could he resist the archer tonight? Even if they pass Karl on tomorrow, he's seen a whole other side to the man he loves, and kindness does a lot of things for Anders. Nate gets a kiss on the brow before Karl does as well, and then Anders heads to the bedroom to pull down the blankets and tuck away anything that could be dangerous. After a moment's thought, the extra pillows are plopped down next to the bed in case the boy rolls off.

"All set for a warm and safe night," he calls back. He'd gone so long before ever sleeping in a real bed; already Karl's getting a better chance than he did and it makes Anders happy. He'll have one good night at least.

Once they're in the room, Anders will tuck the boy in and see if there are any requests before he sleeps. Nate's not allowed to sing if Karl wants a song.

Nathaniel sets up some bedding on the parlor floor while Anders tucks Karl in, and he approaches quietly when he is done. Karl is quickly drifting off, having had the hardest day of the three of them. He is reluctant, however, to let go of Anders. He even starts crying again if Anders tries to dislodge him. Nathaniel presses a kiss to the top of Anders' head.

"Wait till he's asleep. It won't be long."

"I've only put Lucci to sleep before, and he needed to be left to cry himself to sleep. This is new." But he doesn't sound worried, and simply relaxes where he is. Karl will get what he needs, as much as Anders is able to give it. After a few moments, Anders starts to hum quietly, letting the boy curl up close and drift off.

It's not the fastest process as Karl jerks back from sleep a couple of times. Anders doesn't mind, though, just watching the little one. He's worked so hard on not needing to be needed, but the boy inspires a feeling of protectiveness anyway. Anything he can do, Anders will.

Eventually Karl's grip loosens and his breathing evens out, and Anders slips out of the bed, reaching out to take Nate's hand and squeeze it. "Come, love. Let's let him rest."

Anders is never more beautiful than when he has something to love. And seeing that boy cling white-knuckled to Anders has Nathaniel realizing that it's not just him and Anders making this decision. Karl wants to keep them.

He slips his arm around Anders' waist as they creep from the room, leaving the door cracked in case the boy wakes. When they are safely in the parlor, he brushes his lips against Anders' forehead. Warm and comforting, his arms encircle him.

"Everyone," he says lowly, "will have reasons not to take him in that are just as good as ours. Everyone will find it just as impossible as we do. Children don't come only to the people who are prepared for it. But if they're lucky, and if the parents are lucky, they will come to the people who will love them."

Like we would.

He leans in close, expecting Nate's come up with ideas of who could take Karl in, and instead... Anders rests his cheek against Nate's as he feels a wave of emotions hit him.

"It won't be easy, but we're not used to easy. He... I want to help give him a chance. Whether he's a mage or not doesn't matter. He needs someone. We can love him." There's a pause and he half-laughs before kissing Nate's cheek. "As you can love me, you can love anyone. You just happen to be very easy to love."

His hold on Nate is tight. He does love this man so very much and knows how much of a risk it is to love more people, but he wants to try it. Leaning in, Anders tilts his head up to kiss Nate's lips.

"We can share our home with him for however long we have left."

Well. They just became parents.

Nathaniel chases that kiss, a hand cupping the back of Anders' head so he can kiss him well and thoroughly. Anders had already fallen in love with Karl, so much so that he gave him a beloved name. Anders was already the boy's father. Nathaniel can't argue with that. He loves that about Anders, how deeply he cares and how much he struggles to put the world right. Nathaniel can do no less than give him the strength and support to do so, and that will be his own contribution to the world.

"Speaking of time," Nathaniel says huskily, "who knows how long it will be before we have another moment's peace. We'd best seize the moment."

He kisses back hungrily, pressing against Nathaniel and feeling such a surge in his heart and body.

"That's a good point," he says when they break the kiss. Searching out the buckles on Nate's outfit is very familiar by now, and he has the top open in no time, hands smoothing over Nate's chest.

"But don't worry," he says with a kiss to Nate's neck. "I'm very good at finding moments. Years of practice. Now seize me, love." He goes for another open-mouth kiss on the lips, hands sliding around Nate's waist and pulling the archer close.

Maker have mercy.

Nathaniel does, seizing Anders and swinging him to lie flat on the settee. He does so enjoy manhandling his lover when he can. He pushes up that robe and slides his hands over smooth skin, showering kisses down a long, pale neck. He is hardening quickly, easily felt against Anders' thigh. Hands smooth over chest and back, making circles but inching ever upward, carrying his robe as he goes.

He loves being able to surrender, to trust, to have the freedom to open up to this man and know that there will never be an attempt to hurt. Nate loves him and it shows in everything.

Anders laughs as he lands on his back, arching upward to feel as much of Nate against him as he can. The heat of Nate's arousal is exactly what he wants to feel pressed to him, and Anders works to shove Nate's top off before starting to address the pants. Maybe there is a Maker who gives a care after all, that despite what's come before Anders has this man's love and heart and body and all.

"How I love you," he whispers as he turns his head to kiss Nate's temple, giving up on getting Nate's pants down and just sliding his hands down the archer's back instead until he reaches and gropes Nate's ass. That he's as turned on as his partner should come as no surprise - Nate's never failed to stir something in him in all their times together.

"And I you, my treasure," Nathaniel murmurs against the hollow of Anders' throat. He has no idea how he could have fallen so hard for someone that he actually misses Anders even when he's right here. The best cure for that aching feeling is to burrow himself inside until it feels like they're of one body.

Anders' robe is lifted over his head, leggings and smalls swept off in a single motion, before Nathaniel can struggle out of his own trousers. Both naked now, Nathaniel can hook one of Anders' legs over his arm and kiss along the inside of a smooth thigh, pausing to worry a mark into blooming on one patch of skin. His free hand teases over Anders' erection, then extends toward him, palm up.

"Grease," he mumbles into Anders' thigh.

Nate suddenly seems to have so many hands all at once and Anders isn't complaining in the least. He will never, ever have enough of this man. Anders threads his fingers through Nate's hair, making a quiet, pleased noise as the archer starts marking him. He's Nate's.

The tease gets a quiet gasp before he's reaching down, casting, dribbling some of it on his stomach and he doesn't care because of how badly he wants Nate.

"You could make it last, love. The mark. I'd like it there for days, making me think of you even more." Not like he really stops thinking about Nate. His heart and mind are filled with the man, and he is the happiest he's ever been in his life.

"Oh, I don't make marks that don't last," Nathaniel answers low in his throat before pursuing that spot again with lips and teeth. He spreads the grease over his hand and slides two fingers into Anders, moving in firm, steady strokes, reaching deep to drag over that spot inside and get it warmed up for him. He nuzzles the skin of Anders' thigh, then rubs his cheek against it, like an animal marking something with its scent.

"Oh." The word is gasped out as he's bitten and taken, a flash of pain and so much fantastic stretch going straight to his pulse and making it pound. "Right there, right there, love, oh..."

It's not like Nate's about to stop or something, but Anders has trouble stopping talking at all times, and when he's being spoiled by Nate it's all the more difficult. Anders reaches down to stroke himself once with his still-slick hand - it's not like he needs it, but watching Nate go to town on his thigh and feeling his prostate stroked makes him want to touch himself as well.

His other hand tugs lightly in Nate's hair, urging him up, because that mouth can be put to even better uses now that the mark is left. More specifically, those lips can be pressed to Anders' lips. And should be.

Anders' wish is Nathaniel's command. He can resist nothing. He surges up and claims Anders' mouth, fingers sliding from his body so that he can slick himself and line himself up. His skin burns, his cock aches, and pressing the tip against Anders' entrance for a moment is a self-tease as much as anything, lingering a moment, relishing every desire for a moment before fulfilling it. Then, he presses the tip inside, slowly, so that only the head enters before his hips roll back, then press in. Each time, he goes a little more in than he went out, taking Anders slowly, driving them both mad with want.

His hand reaches back to cup the back of Anders' head so he can control the kiss, ravaging his mouth even as he takes him with such care.

He kisses back hungrily, sucking on Nate's tongue as he's taken twice at once. The first time Nate pulls back is greeted with a protesting noise, hands going to Nate's back to keep him close, and then he gets what Nate is doing. He still makes a noise against it anyway, each time he loses some of the progress, because Maker is this man cruel in the best of ways.

He drags nails down Nate's back with some care, doing his absolute best to spur Nate on to wreck him. Not that he'll ever dislike teasing, but Anders loves pushing it, loves provoking strong reactions from Nate because he knows how much affection is behind every movement.

Nathaniel is hot against him and inside him, and Anders has never found surrender or belonging easier.

PSL: Karl

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