elfhame | A Heavy Heart to Carry

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A Heavy Heart to Carry - PSL with apostasy

I was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
my arms around his neck
my fingers laced to crown
I was a heavy heart to carry
but he never let me down
when he held me in his arms
my feet never touched the ground

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Nathaniel releases a long breath. "Maker. We'll think of what to do. But they can't track us over water. Lie down with me and rest for a moment."

Anders slowly moves into the bed, careful not to harm his shoulder. He presses up against him after a bit. "I love you."

"I love you too." Nathaniel tucks Anders' head under his chin, a favorite position because he can smell his hair. "I'll never lose sight of you again. Today I was afraid my life was ending, when I lost you."

Anders settles into that position easily. He puts an arm around Nathaniel. "I've lost everything so many times in my life. The thought that I lost you the same time I gave up Justice... I wasn't prepared for it." He strokes Nathaniel's side a bit. "But we're both here, and well enough."

"Did they hurt you?"

"They took pleasure in kicking me." And he probably had a bruised rib from that. "But it would have hurt me much more if you were gone."

Nathaniel's good arm tightens around Anders. "Never again. We'll find a new life somewhere they'll never find you."

A sigh. "We should sleep while we can."

Anders nods. "Sleeping is a good idea. I'll be rested enough that I can heal you when we woke."

They sleep for several hours, until Nathaniel wakes in too much pain to go back to sleep until Anders casts a round of healing. Then they sleep again, until Delilah comes to wake them. The sun is going down.

"I packed everything for you. You'd better get going. They'll weigh anchor soon."

Nathaniel sits up and rubs his eyes before shuffling to his feet. He gives Delilah a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll send word when it's safe. Thank you for everything."

"Just don't join Thomas," she whispers back fearfully. Then she breaks away and looks at Anders. "Please keep him safe. All right?"

He nods. "I will," he promises. "I love him more than anything." Then, after a moment. "It was wonderful to see you again, despite everything. Hopefully next time will be happier."

"We have so little family," Delilah says, reaching up to hug Anders as well. "It's good to see it growing."

He returns he hug and is pleased for it. Then he chuckles a bit. "I'm pleased to be a part of it."

"Always." She gives him a kiss on the cheek. "I never saw him so happy."

Nathaniel slides an arm around Anders waist. "We need to go."

"There's dinner in your bags," Delilah says. "Daniel is asleep, but he whispered goodbye before you woke up. He wants you both to know he loves you very much, just as I do."

"Love you too," Nathaniel whispers back.

It's only a few minutes' walk to the shipyard, and the men slip aboard a jolly boat along with some sailors, who row them up to a merchantman schooner. The first mate leads them to the berth deck and pulls out a couple of hammocks for them.

"I know you're not sailors," he tells them, "but we'll need your help with chores in the morning. That all right?"

Edited 2016-02-15 02:22 (UTC)

"Of course," Anders responds. "We'll pull out weight." At least he'll watch Nathaniel while he works to ensure the wound really is healed.

An harried sailor joins them, looking worried.

"Ser? There's a lady demanding to come aboard. She says we have a fugitive what she were takin' in."

The first mate looks keenly at Nathaniel, then Anders.

"Just how much trouble are you?" he asks slowly.

Anders frowns at that. He considers Nathaniel for a moment. "Too much," he replies. "Stay here. I'll go." He really doesn't want to put Nate in even more danger.

"No." Nathaniel wraps his arm around Anders' waist. "Where you go, I go. I couldn't live any other way."

And, to the first mate, "The lady exaggerates. She and hers are the only ones looking for him."

The first mate nods. "Understood. You still have to go."

"The captain knows me."

"Andraste's tits, I know you. It's bad enough the son of the Butcher of Denerim is aboard. When she talked about a fugitive, I was sure she meant you. Bugger off."

Anders is quiet now, allowing Nathaniel to handle this. In his mind, though, he's wondering if Nathaniel will ever be able to have a calm, free life when he's connected to him.

There's a few more minutes of bargaining. Nathaniel, fortunately, kept a few Howe family jewels for just this sort of occasion. He parts ways with one now, and the two men are left alone on the berth deck to make themselves comfortable.

"How did they find us so quickly?"

Anders considers that for a moment and a terrible thought comes to him. "I don't believe my phylactery was ever destroyed."

Silence stretches between them. Longer than is comfortable, while that weight sinks over them.

"Then...it won't matter if we run, or how far."

"Unless we find a way to get it away from them, no." He feels chilled to the bone at this. Why does the Circle have to continue to haunt him?

A hard swallow.

"I can get it from them. If we surrender."

Edited 2016-02-16 20:32 (UTC)

Anders feels like he can't breathe at the suggestion. "Who knows what these people will do to you, Nate."

"So long as I do not lose control of the situation, I'll be fine." He leans in to press a kiss to Anders' mouth. "I love you. More than I have ever loved anything in my life."

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apostasy - 2016-02-16 21:51 (UTC) - Expand

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