Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
justice_is_blond) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
elfhame2016-08-25 11:56 am
justice_is_blond) wrote in elfhame2016-08-25 11:56 am
PSL with meeee
When he'd joined the Wardens, it had been under threat of certain death. The Hero of Fereldan hadn't really bothered to explain what conscription meant, just offered it, and Anders had accepted. Why not? He had nothing to lose.
He tried to live his life like that, really. Nothing to lose. It hadn't always worked, but he lost anything he treasured anyway so the end result was still the same whether he was losing Ser Pounce-a-Lot or Hawke. Keep working, keep hiding, don't hope, and so on. Until Skyhold, he'd managed. Or he was pretty sure he'd managed.
Then there was a woman, and a cat, and a man, and more and more people he cared about who actually, somehow, cared about him, and he couldn't keep moving and ignoring things. That was good... until today. Today a song greeted him when he woke, one he's heard before thanks to Corypheus, one that fills his ears and calls his name and tells him it's time to lose everything.
It takes Anders a very long time to get up. Normally he's a fast riser, up before the sun and heading out to work, but this morning he moves slowly. Everything is heavy - limbs, thoughts. He doesn't want to dislodge Purrelden or wake Nate, but it's inevitable. He has a long walk ahead of him, and Nate has possibly the hardest choice of his life.
Reaching out, Anders gently brushes Nathaniel's hair back, prolonging this moment just a few seconds longer. If he could spare Nate this choice he would, but he knows simply leaving isn't sparing at all.
"Are you awake, love?" It's barely a whisper.
He tried to live his life like that, really. Nothing to lose. It hadn't always worked, but he lost anything he treasured anyway so the end result was still the same whether he was losing Ser Pounce-a-Lot or Hawke. Keep working, keep hiding, don't hope, and so on. Until Skyhold, he'd managed. Or he was pretty sure he'd managed.
Then there was a woman, and a cat, and a man, and more and more people he cared about who actually, somehow, cared about him, and he couldn't keep moving and ignoring things. That was good... until today. Today a song greeted him when he woke, one he's heard before thanks to Corypheus, one that fills his ears and calls his name and tells him it's time to lose everything.
It takes Anders a very long time to get up. Normally he's a fast riser, up before the sun and heading out to work, but this morning he moves slowly. Everything is heavy - limbs, thoughts. He doesn't want to dislodge Purrelden or wake Nate, but it's inevitable. He has a long walk ahead of him, and Nate has possibly the hardest choice of his life.
Reaching out, Anders gently brushes Nathaniel's hair back, prolonging this moment just a few seconds longer. If he could spare Nate this choice he would, but he knows simply leaving isn't sparing at all.
"Are you awake, love?" It's barely a whisper.