justice_is_blond: (Justice being subtle)
Anders ([personal profile] justice_is_blond) wrote in [community profile] elfhame2016-12-10 05:09 pm

In a cave in the hills in the woods far away

Anders still wasn't sure if he liked or disliked letters from Varric. Most of the time, it depended on Hawke's reactions. Sometimes Hawke was happy, talking about how Aveline and Donnic were doing, excitedly sharing bits of what Isabela was up to while edging carefully around mentions of Fenris to keep the peace. Sometimes, though, the letters were reminders of how holed up they were. Hawke said he didn't mind. That he loved Anders and wanted to be here with him. That didn't help the guilt.

The most recent reaction was new, though. Hawke had read the letter two weeks and gone for a walk, not even giving a hint as to its contents. There was no discussion of it later that night, despite Anders' attempts, and Anders was afraid. That had only grown as Hawke went for another walk this morning. Justice was convinced they were about to be betrayed. They'd been too much of a burden, and Hawke was done. Anders didn't want to believe it, but hearing voices approach made him feel sick to his stomach.

By the time Hawke enters the cave with another person, silhouetted by the sun, Anders is a nervous, shaky wreck who can barely upright on his bedroll. Justice hovers, ready to take over, and Anders is spending just as much mental energy keeping the spirit in check as he does pleading with Justice to spare Garrett's life even if he had betrayed them.

"Hello?" His voice is cracked. It feels like everything is cracked.

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